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This is how project managers understand what programmers say

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Jul 25, 2016 am 09:02 AM

Programmer: With the current design, I can finish the basic framework in about a week. Then we will optimize, organize and improve the design from scratch, and submit a stable version in the next week.

The project manager ’s understanding: The entire project can be completed in just two weeks.

Programmer: Yes, I can write some web services through which other developers can interact with our system.

The project manager’s understanding: He alone can build a load-balanced web service website that can withstand millions of users per minute.

Programmer: We need to have a meeting with the person responsible for the next release and tell them that we won’t be able to complete the project on time unless we have a proper build and deployment server.

The project manager’s understanding: No chance! (In tears...)

Programmers: We need to cultivate the awareness of every programmer to treat all projects as their own code, so that they will be more responsible.

The project manager’s understanding: He is willing to take responsibility for all the company’s software projects and is willing to take the blame.

Programmer: If you are going to write a website method using HTTP GET, then it should only return data. If you want a way to write data, you either use POST or PUT.

The project manager’s understanding: (Complaining...) This guy is really a stinker. He insists on making such a clear distinction between one and one and two. It seems that he would feel uncomfortable otherwise. (Continuing to complain...)

(Note: The original text said that insisting on doing the right thing is as important as his Thor gold medal underwear.)

Programmer: Dinesh and Gilfoyle Reverse Engineering I checked some old programs and found that your previous configuration was a bit inconsistent.

The project manager’s understanding: I’m going to fire them!

Programmer: The project is currently short of manpower. Maybe I can remotely log in to the company's machine from home this weekend, so that I can catch up a little bit.

The project manager’s understanding: In order to complete this impossible project, he is even willing to blow up the bridge and die with a smile on his face. Even if he hadn't died, he would have crawled back to the company from his hospital bed and continued to work hard for me until he died. He was begging me to whip him.

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